Feeling Positive in 2018…

Heyyyy πŸ‘‹πŸ» 😊

So I thought I’d begin my blogging of 2018 with something I’ve been thinking a LOT about lately: Body Positivity. Or as the social media/blogging community are calling it: BOPO! Body positivity is something that surely we should all have enough of right?! But, I’d hazard a guess that less people than you think are actually happy with their appearance. And that goes for men and women alike, it’s just that I guess it’s always been women at the focus of this kind of topic. πŸ€”

I’ll start with my own story…

So I’ve basically never been 100% happy with the way I look. πŸ™ For as long as I can remember I’ve been an obsessive weigher, jumping on the scales every single day of my adult life (and unfortunately sometimes more than once a day – I know I know, it’s not healthy to do this). You’d be surprised at how much of an effect a weight fluctuation of a single pound can have on a person’s mood. A pound higher than the last time you weighed yourself and it leads to a massive slump in your mood and you spend the rest of the day panicking at everything you eat and drink. And a pound lower than your last weigh in can make you feel on top of the world! It’s a constant battle with your emotions, because as women we have those annoying little things called hormones which play havoc with our weight and moods anyway! (Hence the emotional rollercoaster we find ourselves on!) πŸ™ˆ

So the battery has died in the scales in our house. At first I panicked – how on earth am I meant to get my daily weigh in done if I don’t have scales to step on?! 😩😟😳 Then, after a few days I realised something. I don’t need to weigh myself every single day, and definitely not multiple times. Nothing drastic is going to happen overnight anyway so why bother putting myself through the effect on my emotions. So after not having batteries in my scales for over a month, I have the following verdict – I LOVE NOT WEIGHING MYSELF!!! Like, reeeeeeeeeally love it!! 😍😍😍 I feel like for the first time in a long time I’m feeling happier about my body, and a huge weight has been lifted (yes I went there with the joke ☺️😁🀣). Yes, my body is bigger than I’d ideally like it. And yes, there are stretch marks on my hips where puberty wasn’t all that kind to me, but at the end of the day this body is mine and why the eff shouldn’t I appreciate it?! My other half mentioned putting fresh batteries in the scales, and I said he can but I don’t want to know about it. I know that as soon as there are batteries in those scales, I’ll be back to square one and I really don’t want that to happen. So he can go ahead and do it but I don’t want to find out otherwise I’ll be back on before you know it!

Talking of never really being happy with my body, it honestly (and quite upsettingly) goes back to when I was at high school. I was always the tallest girl which also came with having more weight on me. I was called lanky, which isn’t the end of the world, but I also received some quite hurtful comments about my skin from people who were “friends”. I had bad acne on my face growing up, and that’s probably why even now most days I don’t leave the house unless I have at least a little bit of my “camouflage” on. Don’t get me wrong, my skin is good now but I guess at the back of my mind I’m still that 13 year old, being called pizza face and crying at school about it. (Although the good thing about having an older sister at school was that she had firm words with the said “friends” and we soon sorted that situation out!!)

There was also the dreaded issue of weight at school and there was just no getting away from it. I was never the best at any of the sports in PE, although I did enjoy swimming (probably partly because my fat body was hidden under the water!).

Science lessons involved weighing ourselves in about year 8 or 9 (peak time to be embarrassed about your body of course!). Now, I knew exactly how much I weighed because I was already in the swing of regularly weighing myself at home. I had to hop on the scales so I could find out pounds/kilos (I can’t remember which, obviously tried to block it from my memory after all these years!) but I didn’t want anybody to see the monstrosity of my weight so I did it in a nanosecond. Unfortunately, the teacher caught me and made me get on the scales properly. Cue utter devastation on my part. 😐

Having never really got over the fact I was overweight in school, the insecurity crept its way into my adult life too, I was always the overweight friend in the group, which was quite upsetting for me. (Basically I felt like I was a big ugly hefalump in a group of slim beauts, and no amount of nice hair and make up could make me feel any differently).

I spent years wearing baggy clothes to hide under, which looking back I can see now that it was probably the worst thing I could’ve done, because I just made myself look even bigger than I was! So I started to throw away the baggy clothes and wear slightly more fitted clothes, so you could actually see what shape my body was (I’m a pear, and actually, nowadays I’m a Proud Pear πŸ˜¬πŸ‘πŸΌ).

After receiving a few compliments about my larger than average backside, I found out that some people would actually like to have one that size themselves so I decided why not embrace it! I threw away my baggy old work trousers and started to wear fitted pencil skirts and blouses tucked in to show there was a bit of shape to me after all! And you know what? It felt really good!β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜πŸ€“

Last year I started following somebody on Instagram who quite honestly has changed my way of thinking. If you get the chance to look her up her name is @bodyposipanda. This beautiful human, without knowing it, completely changed the way I felt about my body. The first post I saw was a #donthatetheshake video (if you haven’t seen one before then you need to google it and fast!!). I’ll set the scene for you: A beautiful girl with rainbow colours in her hair, having a whale of a time dancing around in her underwear! The video made me realise that it doesn’t matter what size your body is, or whether you have stretch marks or scars, it’s about how happy in your own skin you are. You can be a size 4, 14 or 24, but as long as you’re happy in your own skin then surely thats all that matters?! I purchased Megan Jayne Crabbe’s (@bodyposipanda) book – Body Positive Power, and although I’m yet to finish it, it is SUCH a good read for gaining some insight into how eating disorders and body positivity (or lack thereof) can affect a person’s life and the people around them. I’d definitely recommend it and owe a lot of my new thinking to her. I think I’m going to plan a blog post when I’ve finished the book but I already have pages flagged to re-read if I’m having a down day. πŸ‘πŸ»

I’m still on a long journey to be completely happy with my body, and I’m not going to say I’m 100% happy with my weight because I’m not at all, and would very much like to lose a couple of stone. But, the only person I am doing it for is me. I’m not going to lose weight because I think its what society expects me to do. I’m going to do it because it’ll help me on my self confidence journey. Maybe one day I’ll be writing a blog post to say that I made it to my “ideal” me. But for now, the me I am right now is good enough for me!

Right I think that’s enough from me for now, let me know your own thoughts on body positivity, it’d be interesting to hear them ☺️

I hope you all appreciate what you see next time you look in a mirror – life really is too short not to make the most of what we have. 😘

Peace out and love as always ✌🏼❀️ xxx


2 thoughts on “Feeling Positive in 2018…

  1. Honey, you are gorgeous & I love your bum. I person think it needs a fb page of its own!! Not only are you beautiful on the outside you are beautiful on the inside & I for one am proud to have you & your bum as a friend! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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