Many people have chronic pain, and many people are sympathetic towards the sufferers. But the people who’s voices sometimes get forgotten are partners of sufferers. Chronic pain affects the entire household which is something quite often overlooked. Now I’m going to put it out there that this post is NOT a cry for sympathy. I do not need sympathy, from myself or anybody else. It’s just nice sometimes to get thoughts down on paper,or on a screen, in order to make yourself heard.
So as I lie here on my sofa, wrapped up in a blanket, having just consumed my second slice of cheesecake this weekend (not even a little bit sorry), I’m going to tell you my story. So sit tight, grab yourself a cuppa (and a biscuit or two, it’d be rude not to right?), and I’ll try not to go on for too long.
My other half has Fibromyalgia. He was diagnosed around 5 years ago, and to put it lightly it was a blow to both of us. He’d always known there was something not quite right with his body, but after a couple of minor bumps in the car and a few football injuries over the years, he was bound to have a few aches and pains every so often.
So for a while we plodded on the way we were, with him having the odd day of a bad back holding him back from doing things. He’d had physio in the past which hadn’t helped much at all. Then one day he went to a chiropractor on the recommendation of a doctor. After an X-ray and a massive popping sound coming from his back, and there we have the day that changed things massively for us. Now I’m not saying if he hadn’t gone to the appointment he wouldn’t have ended up with the Fibromyalgia, but I can’t help but feel that it sped things up for him.
Many months followed where he tried out all sorts of different cocktails of drugs, to see if anything would ease the pain. Now I am not an expert at drugs, in fact the extent of my medication is the contraceptive pill and headache tablets! So it was quite daunting to me for my other half to be taking a variety of pills each day, not knowing if they’ll help him or make him feel worse.
Fast forward a few years and we’re at a point where morphine patches are a lifesaver and we take each day as it comes. I sometimes find it hard to stay cheerful and upbeat, especially if there are days or nights out I’d like to have with him but can’t. One thing I will say is that we will make the best of what we have. Somebody once asked me how I do it, how I “put up” with the situation. Well let’s get one thing straight. You don’t choose who you fall in love with, and you certainly can’t choose to be 100% healthy your entire life. If you manage it then that’s wonderful. But otherwise, we just have to make the best of what we have. I wouldn’t dream of leaving a 9 year relationship because of something unfair like Fibro. It sucks, it really does. But we can get through it together, and we will. We both have our bad days, he has bad days where he’s in bed all day. And on those days I plaster a smile on my face, the same way I do on days he’s fresh as a daisy. I have days where I feel like nobody else could possibly understand my life and I feel thoroughly sorry for myself. On days like these I give my head a wobble and pull myself together, and stop feeling sorry for myself because that’s not going to help anybody is it, least of all me.
So all I’ll say is, if you know somebody with a chronic illness who still gets out of bed everyday and goes to work, just bear in mind how much of a struggle it is for them. Monday mornings at work are shitty for us all, but just think about those people who have literally had to drag themselves out of bed so they can work and pay bills. The thing about Fibro is that it’s a silent illness, just like cancer and the like. You may not know somebody has it just by walking past them in the street. As the saying goes ” be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”.
Anyway, I like my posts to be upbeat and I know this isn’t necessarily the most upbeat of topics. I must just be having one of those days. Normal service will resume shortly, I promise.
Peace out ✌🏼 and have a good week everyone xxx
Ps if you want to read up on Fibro, click here